Odessa, TEXAS (Big 2) – When we have children, sometimes we worry about what we’re doing or not doing for them, and that can be a heavy feeling to carry. Kristi Edwards and Melanie Saiz from Centers explain what “Mom Guilt” is, and how to handle that feeling.
“Guilt is a conditioned emotion. ‘Mom Guilt’ is a result of the decisions that moms make that they think is best for their children, and not everybody makes the same decisions. We kind of tend to judge ourselves and unfortunately one another,” says Centers Marketing & Development Director Melanie Saiz.
That feeling can hit no matter the circumstances. Whether you’re a stay-at-home parent, or if you work. If you decide to keep your children at school during the pandemic, or if you send them to in-person classes. Questioning whether you’ve made the right choice about your children’s eating habits, their schedule, whether you let them co-sleep or not- it can take a toll on your mental health.
“Teach yourself to pivot. Parenting is not a set path. It’s okay to change your mind and be secure in changing your mind. So an example of that would be if you decide that it’s okay for your child to have a phone, after your previously took a stance that that you said you would not allow your child to have a phone. You can’t create a perfect world that will keep your child protected from all things at all times, ever. Life happens, acknowledge pain, create strategies, and move on,” says Centers Executive Director Kristi Edwards.
Sometimes it’s not outside factors that create that sense of guilt. Sometimes it’s your own children who lay on that feeling by comparing their lives to other kids’, or saying you don’t love them if you don’t do something they ask you to do. The key to keeping your feelings in-check is to acknowledge that sense of guilt, and build resilience.
“You know that your love your child, and you’re the parent. Don’t allow the ‘Mom Guilt’ to dissuade your confidence. Forgive yourself, practice self-compassion. You’re not perfect, that’s okay. Welcome to the human race. So share your feelings with other moms that may have ‘Mom Guilt.’ Sometimes a sympathetic ear is what we need to give us perspective,” says Edwards.
Edwards suggests you change your thoughts about what guilt is, or why you feel that way. For more details on how to deal with “Mom Guilt,” Centers has a podcast on this topic.